04.エッセイ 左手の写真家 佐藤 ケイジュ 書き下ろし

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写真家 佐藤 ケイジュの「脳卒中闘病記」

4.序章(xデー当日、その瞬間まで)

長崎での仕事の帰り道に伊勢で私の撮った写真と対面することができた出張の後、

東京に戻ってからも慌ただしい日は続き、大阪と東京でカメラメーカーの撮影会の講師をやらせていただいたり、群馬県の前橋市や栃木県の小山市に機材を車に積んでロケにもゆきました。

この間にスタジオでは “パンの本”のための撮影がスタートしていました。その隙間を縫うような感じでロケや取材を行っていたのです。

走り抜けるようにスケジュールをこなしていた日々が一変する事件が起ころうとしていました。

2013年7月26日金曜日、この日は“パンの本”の撮影も終盤で撮影の為に用意された撮影用のパンも少なかったので、撮影が始まるともうおしまいという感じで早々に終了しました。残りの撮影予定もあとわずかでこの仕事も終了の予定です。

「では、来週」と編集担当者と挨拶をして別れ、スタジオの片付けもわずかなゴミを始末して済んでしまいました。

私のスタジオが東横線の祐天寺、事務所が2駅離れた代官山が最寄り駅なのですが地番でいうと恵比寿に成ります。この恵比寿の事務所に早めに戻り、事務処理等をやってしまおうと言うつもりでした。
その日の夜は、私が事務所に使っているマンションの役員になっている関係で、私がクレームを付けた事もあり、外灯の位置の確認をする事になっていました。外灯の事でもあったので、十分に暗くなった頃に業者の人に来てもらって確認しようという事だったのです。

その日が本日2013年7月26日。

早めに事務所に戻り、今日撮影した画像を整理して“おすすめ画像”に関してはいつものようにネットで担当者に送り、本日の仕事に区切りをつけたのですが時間的には外灯の確認が来るまでには早すぎる時間帯です。
こんな時にはネット情報でもチェックしながら親しい仲間たちと情報交換をしてみよう、そんな感じでネットにアクセスをしたのです。
今考えれば「体を休めろ」と言いたいところですが、のんびり休む事が苦手な私としては、メールで時間を過ごすと言うのは十分休んでいるつもりでした。

いつか日も暮れ、夜の雰囲気が漂う時間帯になってきました。パソコンも終了していつ業者がきても良いように事務所も終了として、不要な明かりを消すなど、いつでも帰れるように準備を始めたのですが、今になって考えると“周囲から見て居る事”が分かるようにしておけば良かったと思います。
明かりが暗くなった事務所で「この間にトイレに行っておこう」と思いトイレに座り込みました。外灯業者が来たらそのタイミングで外壁を見てそのまま家に帰るつもりだったのです。

ところが、健康体と言えたのはここまで。

ついに“xデーの瞬間”が来てしまった。

「忍び寄る」という言葉がありますが、正になんの気配も感じさせないままこの病気が始まりました。「寒気がするから風邪に注意をしよう」と言った、分かりやすい前兆が全くないままです。

気楽にトイレに入り、深く考えずに便座に座ったところまでは何ともなかった。

そこで、ちょっと考え事をしながら頭の位置を戻した時、違和感がありました。

「あれ、体が曲がっている」、普段から姿勢の曲がりは気にしていたのですが、体が右に曲がっているのに、その右に傾いた姿勢を直そうとしても出来ない。

体が不自然に右に傾いて行く…

つづく

04

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